Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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