Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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