my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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