Is it normal to miss your booty call?
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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