Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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