Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Are my feet made of real feet?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
