Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
How naked do you want me to be?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
