either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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