I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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