I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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