I cannot find my penis.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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