when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
