it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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