There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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