You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize