...so i touched it.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
