There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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