what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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