Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
