dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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