Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
