if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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