My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
