these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
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could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
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Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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