I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
