Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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