Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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