he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
