We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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