I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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