i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
