he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
they need to just BURY HIM!
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
