people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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