you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
