Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize