You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
