I heard we made out
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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