just come out here and I will go home with you...
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
