Are we in a gay sports bar?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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