the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
