I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
