Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
do herpes really smell.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
