i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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