Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Who died my cat blue again?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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