i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
