Little spoons don't ask big questions
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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