i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
