Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
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So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
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Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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