hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
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