if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
