I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Can I color on your dick again?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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