trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
