Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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