I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
