Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
The feeling are messing with the penis
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
