I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
