Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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