what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
