a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
