I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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