Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Man, jail baloney is awful.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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