I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
