I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
