So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
