I saw his package. It spoke to me.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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