well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
