Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
